Saturday, November 20, 2010

not feeling too big

This BIG Dadddy isn't feeling too big right now.

Despite my decision to move to the CRM tower for a more promising career, I'm entirely proud of that decision at all. With my transfer comes a great sacrifice - a sacrifice that now affects my family's daily basic needs.

My exit from my previous division meant placing my November pay on-hold, including my 13th month pay. I am facing more than a month without pay coming into my hands. With a herd of bills unpaid and dozens more lining-up, I'm faced with a Herculian task of keeping things afloat for my family.

What's worse is that Sophia's 1st birthday is coming-up as well as my wife's birthday. I couldn't even afford to throw them a decent party at home.

I feel guilty ... stressed ... depressed ...

Right now, with the remaining money and credit that I have left, I will need to prioritize my family's basic needs.

I know that we're better off than most ... but right now, I'm just not feeling that. I know that we are more blessed than most ... but right now, I'm having a difficult time accepting it.

This BIG Daddy is feeling quite small right now.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wow, man! Heavy!

Sophia was feeling exceptionally uneasy this afternoon so I took her outside for some fresh air. The cool air and change in scenery did well to calm her down. As we were enjoying the cool afternoon breeze right in front of our home, our neighbor came out of one of his three houses with his daughter, got into one of his six cars and drove off with the rest of his family... envious? Sadly, admittedly ... a bit ...

My wife and I own our own home but we are without a car nor do we have any savings. We have a tremendous amount of debt and we are behind our bills. Unfortunate? Not at all. I consider us more blessed compared to most. However, I do dream of living the days when I had a decent car to take my family around any time I want, zero debts and a healthy savings in the bank.

Here I go again ranting about finances ... but I can't help it. I yearn to provide well for my family; give them a decent living. But now I'm afraid that we all need to make sacrifices and await patiently for the right opportunity to present itself.

Think positive, Rafael. Even when the odds are against you - pray, love and eat!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Thank You - two magic words

Open sesame and Abra Kadabra won't be able to match these two simple words ... I'm talking about the two most under rated words that can put a glowing smile and shower a warm feeling on anyone. I'm talking about the words THANK YOU. And with the US Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought I'd take this time to utter a few words of thanks myself.

Thank you for the wonderful lunches, dinners, breakfasts and snacks that you ever so lovingly prepare for me each and every day. You know exactly how to tickle my taste buds.

Thank you for always keeping our home clean, not just for me but for the kids as well. A clean home is a happy home. And apparently, what we recently appreciated is that a clean house is always nice to come home to after a long day's work.

Thank you for giving me the two most adorable, most loving and most charming baby girls any father would ever want. They are more than what I've prayed and hope for, and I shall honor and love them my whole life.

Thank you for supporting me, for keeping me straight and true in my work. I never imagined being able to climb up the corporate ladder successfully so soon and so fast. My above average to excellent markings in work are a simple testament to the value you bring into my life; for the inspiration and confidence that you provide me.

Thank you for continuously teaching me how to become a better father. No one comes into fatherhood as prepared as they would want, but with your guidance, your counseling and your patience, I know that I am becoming the father that Samantha and Sophia deserve.

Thank you for teaching me the value of blessings. He truly provides us only with what we need, and sometimes even what we want - in His own time. We are not on better times in terms of our finances ... but we are better off than most. Thank you for helping me realize that fact every day.

Thank you for being patient with me. It was never easy having a boyfriend like me, and even more difficult is having me as your husband. You are a solid rock amidst the raging tides and I'm sad to say that I do you no justice. I do not give you enough credit nor do I give you enough of my time and love. I'm sorry for my short comings, Honey. And I thank you still for being there for me and with me despite of these things. You deserve more and I will continue to strive to give you more.

Thank you for loving me. No other person has loved me the way you do. I love you with all my heart and even though some times it doesn't show, believe me that it radiants from all around me. I fall short at times, I know. For this I am deeply sorry. But for all the chances and the patience you have been giving me, for those I am eternally grateful. I know that I am deeply loved, and I feel and appreciate it. Thank you for giving me your heart and for taking care of mine.

Thank you Honey. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I love you! I love you! I love you!