A very long year

A year has passed since my professional life had taken a radical turn. A year ago, I have formally bid farewell to the BPO industry - an industry that I've spent 10-years of my life learning and, in return, have helped it grow in my own small way. And as I have embarked on practically uncharted waters, I have often found myself struggling to stay afloat, tempted to abandon the ship and have had several opportunities to go back to my roots. Strangely enough, despite the opportunities to move-on, I find myself a year later taking-in more punishment, so to speak.

I am pushing 32 years of age, and while as young as you think I still may be (and I truly am), I feel that I now need to establish myself here. While my strengths are in IT Service Management in the BPO industry, I know that for me to become a highly valuable and marketable individual (and professional, most importantly), I need to prove myself that I can literally make it anywhere. If I make it here as a project manager, I know that I can make it anywhere.

Despite being here for only a year, I feel that I've been here too long. I have learned so much yet I know that there is still so much more to learn. The basics alone of insurance operations still baffles me, and keeping a steady discipline as a project manager is hard work - work that I would like to perfect.

Amy and I have started to make plans around my career here at Philam Life, most of it directly impacts the future of our daughters. We will be moving to a new office located at Bonifacio Global City, which is very much close to my high school alma mater, Colegio San Agustin. The longer I stay with this company, the better my benefits shall become, especially for my retirement.

I am still working on my first set of projects (or a program, in a more professional term), and I will still be working on this until June of 2013. Its not easy creating portals for various groups, but I'm happy to say that one of the three is already online and ready for use. Another project that I am very much interested in is Philam Life's explorations into the realm of outsourced services - my cup of tea! It has been assigned to one of my colleagues in the department and I have been informally invited to participate. If I play my cards right, not only will I get to help setup a new company, but I may also have the opportunity to manage it when it becomes operational.

Career-wise, there are a lot of opportunities in this company. As sour and rough my beginnings here are, at least I have come to discover that I can still have friends around here, no matter how few, how odd, how old or how strange.

It has been an interesting year, and I'm hoping to see at least 24 more.

Of Indian food and purple jewellry

This past weekend, my daughter Sophia had her first taste of authentic Indian food. Her face contorted in a funny way after her first tase of Indian curry on rice, but she kept asking for more. She's so much like me when it comes to food - adventurous and open-minded. Samantha, on the other hand, had her first "taste" of choosing her own earrings - colored purple, of course! Their mother Amy and I are so proud of them.

Our daughters may be growing older and bigger by the day, but they will always be our babies for as long as we live.

Another one for the bucket-list - globe trotting

Here's a great idea for those couple such as myself and Amy, who'd want to spend a few days alone, away from their kids. Imagine having the luxury to trot around the globe, enjoying the scenes, taking-in the sites and sampling the cuisine from one country to another on 4 or 5 different continents.


I read an article recently at www.abs-cbnnews.com Lifestyle section on top 10 getaways without the kids. The title itself shot me a few years ahead with me and my wife back packing it around the world to these 10 destinations, a handful of memory cards for the camera in our pockets, a netbook to write about our adventures and empty stomachs to sample the different local cuisines.


Not only is this list inside my bucket-list, it also makes on my list of top TO-DOs with Amy before I retire (or when I retire, which ever comes first); something I wish for me and Amy to do while we're still strong and able. 


Cheers to life!


[http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/10/16/11/travel-picks-top-10-getaways-without-kids]


1. Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Thanks to Vegas, we know there is plenty of fun to be had in the desert, but nothing comes close to Dubai; the adult playground set in the piping hot deserts of the United Arab Emirates. From the world's largest man-made islands to the entrancing gold markets and underwater hotels, everything in Dubai is bigger, better and more luxurious. Feel free to spend some time being overwhelmed by shopping malls and markets known as souks, then tee off at world-renowned golf courses, stop at the only Formula 1 theme park and kick up some fun with a Jeep trip into the sand dunes.
2. Lunenburg, Nova Scotia
In 1995, the old town of Lunenburg on Canada's east coast was deemed a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of its survival as a British colonial settlement. This quaint coastal village off Mahone Bay is the perfect place to book a bed-and-breakfast or small cottage and explore the history, do a little kayaking or simply unwind. Let Lunenburg's small-town charm and the tranquil seaside views win you over. When looking for things to do, visit Bluenose, the world-famous wooden racing schooner, check out the Fisheries Museum and learn about the salty men who navigated the Atlantic, then head over to the Ironworks Distillery for artisan spirit tastings.
3. St. Lucia, Antilles
Just getting away isn't always enough - sometimes it takes a tropical island in the middle of the ocean for us to feel completely free of our duties and responsibilities. Home to the grand Piton mountains, the world's only drive-in volcano and warm crystal blue waters, St. Lucia is an ideal Caribbean getaway for any relaxation-seeking couple. For a quick and rewarding hike, check out the Saltibus Waterfall Trail, which leads you through mountaintop rainforests to several picturesque waterfalls, perfect for cooling off. If you're not interested in leaving the beach, take advantage of renowned scuba and snorkeling, or hop aboard a sailboat and cruise around the island.
4. Napa Valley, California
Even though early autumn is Napa Valley's most popular season for visitors, we still think it's the best time to take part in the grape harvesting festivities known as Crush. It's one of the Valley's most exciting times and vineyards all over hold special events and celebrations. Napa boasts more than 200 vineyards, world-renowned spas and a dense population of Michelin-rated restaurants, so there are plenty of opportunities for you and your significant other to spoil yourselves. The scenery alone is worth the trip, and we recommend viewing it from a hot air balloon or the Napa Valley Wine Train, which stops at several vineyards.
5. Portofino, Italy
The words "Italian Riviera" are usually enticing enough to dust off the suitcases, and Portofino is considered to be the most beautiful harbor of them all. What was once a quaint fishing village is now a popular boating and yachting destination. The best place to stay is on a boat, and there are plenty of exquisite restaurants and high-end boutiques that line the harbor. If sleeping on dry land is more your style, travel the sea by water taxi to other towns along the Riviera, including Genoa and San Fruttuoso. And, if you haven't seen enough breathtaking scenery, head up to Castello Brown to check out the beautiful views and stunning gardens.
6. Cozumel, Mexico
Cancun might have a reputation for college kids, foam parties and a heavy late-night scene, but on the island of Cozumel, just a short distance away, it's a different story. As a tourist destination, Mexico is known for catering to its visitors at spectacular resorts where the possibilities for fun in the sun are endless - and Cozumel is no exception. Aside from observing the beautiful surroundings, consider hanging out at the beach, getting in some scuba diving, taking advantage of resort activities like tennis and yoga, or catching up on some reading by the pool. Best of all, there are plenty of resorts on the island that only accommodate adults, so you don't need to deal with anyone else's rugrats.
7. Stirling, Scotland
A bit smaller than some of Scotland's other cities, Stirling is an ideal place for parents who are looking for a quiet getaway. Packed with history, lush rolling hills, charming bed-and-breakfasts, and plenty of outdoor activity, there's a little something for everyone. Whether you're a history buff or not, The National Wallace Monument, in honor of William Wallace, is a must see. (That's for you, Braveheart fans.) Then tour the Stirling Old Town Jail, visit Stirling Castle and check out the Old Bridge. If golfing is on the list, you won't be disappointed with the abundant greenways that meander through the flawless landscape.
8. Valle Nevado, Chile
A day on the ski slopes is a great way for families to bond and for kids to put to use some of that excess energy, but with the hassle of gloves, hats, equipment and the occasional cold-weather whining, a ski trip for two could be just what you need. Since good skiing in summer months is hard to come by, think about heading south to Valle Nevado in Chile, where it's still winter - if you've got a chunk of time to spend. It's considered the best ski resort in South America, and is comparable to something you might experience in the Alps. Valle Nevado even offers world-famous Heli-skiing and boarding for those needing a bigger rush.
9. Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida
Conveniently located between Jacksonville and St. Augustine is the famed Ponte Vedra Beach. You may think the only thing Ponte Vedra has to offer is a ridiculous golf scene - which it does - but that's not the sole reason to visit this swanky coastal community. When not teeing off, visitors take full advantage of exquisite spa treatments offered at several multi-diamond spa resorts, hit around the tennis ball, stop off at beautifully manicured beaches, check out quaint and unique shops, and partake in other activities you indulge in when the kids aren't around. And no Ponte Vedra Beach experience goes without a look into the Spanish colonial history stretching back as far as 1513.
10. Lavaux, Switzerland
The vineyard terraces of Lavaux may not be on your travel radar, but they should be. There is evidence to suggest that these terraces were used to grow grapes for wine during the Roman Empire, and they have now been inducted as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Settled along the coast of placid Lake Geneva are a string of small villages connected by the grape vines of the ancient terraces. Travel between the villages by foot, stopping for picnics and wine tastings, and spend the night at bed-and-breakfasts as you go. Or, take the train, which stops in many small towns. If travel within the autumn months is possible, make sure to have the camera handy for some truly stunning fall foliage photographs.

The anatomy of vegetables according to Sam

We had an interesting conversation with Samantha last night over dinner. While she was focused on her hot miso soup, she was at her usual self chatting away asking questions left and right, but a few set of question caught her mom and I by surprise.

Sam: "Daddy, what's in the soup?"
Daddy: "Umm ... I'm not sure ..."
Sam: "Daddy, its egg and cheese and vegetables!" (...thinking that the color of the soup and the tofu came from egg and cheese).
Daddy: "Oh, okay. Good" (...winking at Amy)
Sam: "Daddy, what's in the vegetables?"
Mommy: "More vegetables, baby"
Sam: "No Mommy, vitamins!"

Amy and I were stared at each other, wide-eyed and broke into laughter. Our precious Sam, getting sharper by the day, outsmarting me and her mom.

Samantha is transitioning into another phase in her young years. From the terrible-two stage, she is now entering the inquisitive stage where her curiosity is peaking and she throws questions at us at every minute of every day. Although we find it annoying at times, particularly when her mom and I feel tired due to lack of sleep, we try our best to entertain her questions and answer them the best and most understandable way possible.

At the end of the day, what matters is that we give Samantha the attention that she needs. She already feels some form of competition with her sister Sophia when it comes to getting attention, but we try our best to keep it equal between the two girls.

Hmm ... I wonder what Samantha has next in her arsenal of surprises?

Do birthday wishes still count beyond 30 years?

With just a few winks away from my 31st birthday, I take a break from work for just a few minutes and take stock of what is it that I want as a wish for my day. Hmm ...

To be honest, I do have a lot of wants ... but what I truly need and deeply want is just to be with my wife and kids. I can just easily wish for a car, an honest to goodness vacation or perhaps a road trip - but these shall come in time, in His time when I really deserve it. But right now, there is one thing I know in my heart that I truly deserve and need, which is something that I cannot get enough of - and that is good quality time with my lovely wife and energetic kids.

Whether we'd be out malling or just at home doing chores, as long as I'm with my family and decent food on the table, I'd be happy.

FYI - it would also be nice if my wife and I can take this 13-day fundamentals classes. Being foodies and aspiring restaurateurs that we are, we'd very much like to be up to par with other people in this field.

Interesting options ...

My wife, Amy, warned me that just when I think I'm settling down with my new company, other opportunities will still present itself to me. True enough, over a handful of companies and head hunters have been contacting me, inviting me to apply to their company, most of which have been offering me a project management job - the same role as my current role. While I'm flattered for even being considered, I am also somewhat at a loss because with each option comes with it an inherent risk.

Right now, I'm actually happy and comfortable with the prospects of my career with my new job. I have been with this new company for a little over two months and compared to the companies that I've worked for in the past 10-years (all of which are BPO companies), the pace here is somewhat more relaxed. Deadlines are tight but delays are forgivable, the work is easier to manage especially when it comes to working in projects. Although the general population in this company is more or less "tenured", interacting with them is easier although they do have that certain resistance to change, which I am trying to bring about - the same purpose for which I was hired in the first place.

And now here comes a-knocking at my door, companies from the BPO industry as well as other non-BPO companies. Despite setting their expectations on my expected salary/compensation package by laying down my current package, they're still very much interested - which, in turn, gets me interested as well. At 31-years of age, I'm still young enough to explore other opportunities. And since my daughters are very much still young, I still have that certain level of flexibility. However, I am growing weary of moving from one company to another, and I'm longing to just plan myself at an established company where I can eventually retire later on. I am not closing my doors to other opportunities, however, but I am finding it difficult now to make a decision. But all of those is too early and pre-emptive to even think about since none of these companies have given me a solid and clear offer, but the prospect of receiving a higher offer truly appeals to me and tickles my curiosity.

Amy is right, I should choose wisely. Although she raises her hand away from swaying my decision, I am still thankful that she is always here by my side in helping me think things through. On one hand, I am now working for a stable company in the life insurance industry. Although my time is not as flexible as it was when  I was in the BPO industry, I am still enjoying being back to the normal working hours, which is 8AM to 5PM. But I do miss having flexible working hours and having the freedom to work from home - which is a perk that the other companies are potentially offering me as part of their value proposition. Nonetheless, it will all boil down to whatever they're prepared to offer. I believe that I am flexible enough to work in any management role and help them in their growth. But that decision, however, will definitely have to wait until such time I do receive an official offer. Amy and I will choose whether or not to cross another bridge, if and when we get there. For now, I am thankful that I am still blessed to be able to put food on the table for my family; that I am still able to sit down with them for dinner, wash them up and tuck them into bed at night.

Love As I See It

Fatherhood has brought many changes to my life: my routine, my schedule and even my social life ... but one thing is for sure, Fatherhood has change me, changed for the better. Through my wife and my daughters, I have learned to love others more than myself. Through my family, I have learned the importance of self sacrifice for the benefit of my children. Through my daughters eyes, I learned to appreciate the simple things in life like play time, coloring, singing, dancing like there's no tomorrow. Through my daughter's touch, I have come to learn that I can leave my troubles at the door and just focus on what matters most to me. Through my daughters' kisses, I have come to learn the taste of love - and it is beyond sweet, beyond warmth and beyond fulfilling. As I see it, my daughter IS Love - flesh and blood, body and soul from head to toe, for her Daddy to hug, to kiss and to hold.

This is my entry to "Love as I see it", a project of www.islandrose.net flowers Philippines.

Another new beginning

Today is my first day at Philam Life as a Senior Project Manager for the Strategic Initiatives Office. Unlike my experiences in the past, this time around I find myself going for a slow start - slow but very much welcoming as I am enjoying this pleasant break from the hustle and bustle world of BPO.

I now find myself going to work at 6:30 in the morning, right around the time when my kids wake up from their deep slumber. Right before the sun rises, I made sure that breakfast was already cooking and any dishes washed the previous night all dried and stowed away in their respective cupboards and shelves.

A few minutes later while I cooke up breakfast, my wife comes down to join me in the kitchen. Even during the first few minutes of her day, she's still very much lovely, beautiful and sexy with her hair flowing down her shoulders. And yes, even those sleepy eyes are sexy to my liking . Although sleepy as I was, I was still very much excited to get to work this morning and see what was in-store for me. That excitement, however, was temporarily quenched by a familiar morning site - one that I haven't seen for the past 3 years: the early morning rush! Throngs of people joined me on the street trying to catch a shuttle ride to our offices. Without any semblance of an organized line, I found myself walking slowly farther away from the usual stop until I finally catch a ride - 20-minutes later.

After what seemed forever, I finally arrived at the office still fresh and sleepy at the same time. My new co-workers Alvin, Joel, Gary, Jackie and Sir Allan (my boss) welcomed me quite warmly and went out of their way to make me feel at home.

Its 30-minutes from quitting time and the day just seemed to go forever so slowly. I have not accomplished much, except for reading a couple of process documents and storing them on my office laptop making sure everything is properly labelled and organized.

Before I called it a day, I took a few minutes to visit our Father by the Philam Life chapel in the middle of the building. I remembered to thank Him for watching over me and my family; for helping us get by despite our slim financial capabilities. Amy and I are still thankful for we are still much more blessed than most people. I pray that He take me home safely to my three girls whom I missed so much today. I can't wait to hear their stories and for me to tell them a few of mine of what happened today. And what do you know? I can access Blogger.com from here :)

All in a day's work of being a father trying his best to be a good provider, a better father and the best husband a wife should have even though at times I fail, I always remind myself to get back up because I have more to live for and to be thankful for than I ever have thought.

See you in a few minutes my Honey and my two little sweethearts!

Sin of Envy

Other than the sin of gluttony, I guess the other sin that I'm guilty of would be the sin of envy.

Samantha has started going back to school, and this time she goes every week day as opposed to an MWF schedule last school year. This time, she starts with the Nursery class - her 1st official year in kindergarten. She's been eager to go back to school and play with her teachers and classmates.

And now that I've started taking her to school again every morning, I would now always see that beautiful house a few yards from the school, a house where one of Sam's classmates live. And I would always wonder how his parents could afford to have something built to their expectations. More importantly, I would always wonder if I can ever provide my wife and kids the same luxuries I keep seeing in that home. They have three brand new cars, a big lot with a big house - even the mother seems so happy and relaxed.

Yes, I have sinned and continue to sin for being envious of this. But perhaps envy isn't as bad as the bible says. If you channel envy properly, you can use it as a source of inspiration - a tool for you to reach your own goals.

I am about to close a big chapter in my professional life. In a few days, I will officially leave the industry that I have worked and built a career on for the past 10 years. I am about to embark at an opportunity that will, hopefully, get me to my goals.

Daddy moment

After a light lunch and a quick conference call at home, I gave my kids a shower, helped them brush their teeth and dressed them up. I prepared their milk and switched-on the air conditioner in preparation for their nap.

Samantha has her own way of being sweet to her Daddy. She bade me 'Good Night', gave me a kiss and finished her milk. Less than 5-minutes later, she was snoring like me!

Sophia, as charming as she is, took my hand and made it gently pat her bottom. I have the habit of patting my kids' bottoms til they fall asleep. Samantha grew out of it quickly before she turned 1, but Sophia couldn't go to sleep without it. Around 8 minutes later, she fell asleep a well.

These are the moments that I will cherish. The movie "A Walk to Remember" was playing while I was putting my girls to sleep, and exactly at that moment when Mandy Moore's character was on the hospital bed while talking to her daddy. Dying of cancer, she told her dad that she loves him.

What a simple yet cherishable daddy moment for me.

Its not easy being a parent nowadays. With the cost of just about every basic commodity going up in light of an unhealthy economy, the term "making ends meet" is becoming a well worn-out cliche.

Waking-up early in the morning before dawn to prepare the house for yet another challenging day, then shuttling off after lunch for a 1.5-hour, 60-km commute to work to the salt mines - all while thinking about how to stretch the budget decently - all these and more in the day of a life of modern young father such as myself (did I say young?!).

But one has to wonder, if I think my load is heavy, what about my wife who stays at home practically 24x7, taking care of the kids and the house all on her own, a year after giving birth to Sophia? Just thinking about it makes me remember the addage: "The mind is willing, but the body is not."

I find myself complaining too much about how heavy my load is, but I don't give enough credit to what Amy goes through on a daily basis. I don't even think that I thank her enough or even appreciate the effort that she's been pulling around to help keep things going for our young and small family. Just how selfish and self-centered am I? Proud of it, I am not.

Words aren't enough to show just how important Amy is to me nor would actions be enough to show her gratitude and appreciation. It takes a lifetime - sometimes even more - just to prove and show that you love and appreciate having a wife whose just so gosh darn supportive, even in the middle of hurdles and obstacles.

With Valentine's day just around the corner, and without a strap of cash to bring her out on a decent date, I find myself in a heavy bind. But do I still have a plan in mind? Of course I do. Do I think that showing her an extra ounce of love, attention and understanding that day would me extra "pogi points" with my wife? Well not right away, but its a start - right? Its something you should do as a husband on a daily basis. We men gots ta earn our women's love and respect, y'all!

But what the heck is my point anyway? I haven't blogged for some time now and here I am just typing away my thoughts. My mind is so full of interesting problems trying to balance each other out that I just need to unload it through writing. But most importantly, my mind keeps focusing back on what matters to me the most - my wife, my partner, and believe-it-or-not my knight in shining armor! And I would like nothing more than to pamper her, to cook for her, massage her and even bathe her , to cuddle up with her at the end of the day. For nothing gives me great pleasure than to make my wife happy at the end of each day, even though at times my immature self gets in the way - God bless her soul for putting up with me all these years.

I love you Amy Antonio Tabunar!

not feeling too big

This BIG Dadddy isn't feeling too big right now.

Despite my decision to move to the CRM tower for a more promising career, I'm entirely proud of that decision at all. With my transfer comes a great sacrifice - a sacrifice that now affects my family's daily basic needs.

My exit from my previous division meant placing my November pay on-hold, including my 13th month pay. I am facing more than a month without pay coming into my hands. With a herd of bills unpaid and dozens more lining-up, I'm faced with a Herculian task of keeping things afloat for my family.

What's worse is that Sophia's 1st birthday is coming-up as well as my wife's birthday. I couldn't even afford to throw them a decent party at home.

I feel guilty ... stressed ... depressed ...

Right now, with the remaining money and credit that I have left, I will need to prioritize my family's basic needs.

I know that we're better off than most ... but right now, I'm just not feeling that. I know that we are more blessed than most ... but right now, I'm having a difficult time accepting it.

This BIG Daddy is feeling quite small right now.

Wow, man! Heavy!

Sophia was feeling exceptionally uneasy this afternoon so I took her outside for some fresh air. The cool air and change in scenery did well to calm her down. As we were enjoying the cool afternoon breeze right in front of our home, our neighbor came out of one of his three houses with his daughter, got into one of his six cars and drove off with the rest of his family... envious? Sadly, admittedly ... a bit ...

My wife and I own our own home but we are without a car nor do we have any savings. We have a tremendous amount of debt and we are behind our bills. Unfortunate? Not at all. I consider us more blessed compared to most. However, I do dream of living the days when I had a decent car to take my family around any time I want, zero debts and a healthy savings in the bank.

Here I go again ranting about finances ... but I can't help it. I yearn to provide well for my family; give them a decent living. But now I'm afraid that we all need to make sacrifices and await patiently for the right opportunity to present itself.

Think positive, Rafael. Even when the odds are against you - pray, love and eat!

Thank You - two magic words

Open sesame and Abra Kadabra won't be able to match these two simple words ... I'm talking about the two most under rated words that can put a glowing smile and shower a warm feeling on anyone. I'm talking about the words THANK YOU. And with the US Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought I'd take this time to utter a few words of thanks myself.

Thank you for the wonderful lunches, dinners, breakfasts and snacks that you ever so lovingly prepare for me each and every day. You know exactly how to tickle my taste buds.

Thank you for always keeping our home clean, not just for me but for the kids as well. A clean home is a happy home. And apparently, what we recently appreciated is that a clean house is always nice to come home to after a long day's work.

Thank you for giving me the two most adorable, most loving and most charming baby girls any father would ever want. They are more than what I've prayed and hope for, and I shall honor and love them my whole life.

Thank you for supporting me, for keeping me straight and true in my work. I never imagined being able to climb up the corporate ladder successfully so soon and so fast. My above average to excellent markings in work are a simple testament to the value you bring into my life; for the inspiration and confidence that you provide me.

Thank you for continuously teaching me how to become a better father. No one comes into fatherhood as prepared as they would want, but with your guidance, your counseling and your patience, I know that I am becoming the father that Samantha and Sophia deserve.

Thank you for teaching me the value of blessings. He truly provides us only with what we need, and sometimes even what we want - in His own time. We are not on better times in terms of our finances ... but we are better off than most. Thank you for helping me realize that fact every day.

Thank you for being patient with me. It was never easy having a boyfriend like me, and even more difficult is having me as your husband. You are a solid rock amidst the raging tides and I'm sad to say that I do you no justice. I do not give you enough credit nor do I give you enough of my time and love. I'm sorry for my short comings, Honey. And I thank you still for being there for me and with me despite of these things. You deserve more and I will continue to strive to give you more.

Thank you for loving me. No other person has loved me the way you do. I love you with all my heart and even though some times it doesn't show, believe me that it radiants from all around me. I fall short at times, I know. For this I am deeply sorry. But for all the chances and the patience you have been giving me, for those I am eternally grateful. I know that I am deeply loved, and I feel and appreciate it. Thank you for giving me your heart and for taking care of mine.

Thank you Honey. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I love you! I love you! I love you!

Baby steps, Daddy steps

Just this morning, my youngest Sophia (11-months old by Monday, 11/1) crawled from the living room to the dining room. Amy and I were having lunch when Sophia suddenly grabbed one of the legs of my chair, stood up, held my small finger and led me around the dining room and the living room.

...my heart folded and melted and and the rest of me followed!

Sophia could already stand-up and has started to take 1 or 2 steps. She's starting to get her balance but still needs a month more or two to be able to walk steadily. This, however, is something that I don't wish to come along quickly.

While she took me for that quick short stroll around the house, I was touched with the thought that Sophia yearns so much for my attention. Even at a tender young age, much like her Ate Samantha, Sophia absolutely loves it when I play with her - even some rough-housing every once in a while. My thoughts also flashed-forward 40 or 50 years from now when Sophia and Samantha will be the ones holding my hands, leading my old and feeble arse around malls, parks and the village.

The thought of my kids growing up so fast is both exciting and scary to me. Right now I'm enjoying their youth, their dependency on me. But before I know it, they'd be out in the world on their own. Their daddy will miss THESE good old days.

The "Terrible-Two" stage may be tiring and even scary, but I just know that it will be one of the stages in my life that I will miss so much. As Amy would frequently remind me, I should enjoy our daughters as much as I can and as young as they are because they will not be babies for long. She's right, of course, but deep in my heart, even though they will be babies only for this short period of time, they will always and forever be MY babies in MY eyes and in MY heart...

...and I thank HIM for these precious gifts.

"As son is a son till he makes him a wife; a daughter is a daughter all her life." --> Irish saying

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." -->Joseph Addison

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. " --> Jim Bishop, American journalist and author

You can still have it all ...

I came across this nice article at www.pep.ph late in the evening:

http://www.pep.ph/articles/23134/Daphne-Osena-Paez-lives-the-harmonious-life-she-talks-about-as-TV-lifestyle-host

It basically talked about Daphne Osena-Paez - how she came about having her career on TV and how she managed to balance her personal with her professional life.

I smiled at myself for choosing this article out of the blue because of three things:

#1 - The Uncanny Resemblance

Daphne Osena-Paez is the splitting image of my wife, Amy Antonio-Tabunar. Check out the picture from the link above and compare it to the picture of my lovely wife!

#2 - The Inspiring Story

I wasn't aware that Daphne was such a hands-on in both aspects of her life - at home and at work. With hard-work and perseverance, she was able to climb the ladder of success rung-by-rung but was willing to give it all up for motherhood. But despite her focus on her family, she was still able to pursue her dreams of having an active role in show business. With the love and support of her family, she is now able to live the life that she wants, but at the same time strive for continuous improvement in her craft.

#3 - Can you spell C-O-I-N-C-I-D-E-N-C-E?

My wife and I were having a similar discussion the other night. Amy was poised to climb the corporate ladder, but gave it all up for the sake of her two little angels. She misses the corporate world, but would not want to go back to it if it means spending much less time with the kids. This is both understandable and admirable of her, but I constantly remind her that we as a family are not blockades to her dreams. As a matter of fact, as a husband, I encourage her to pursue her dreams and the kids and myself will be with her every step of the way.

Samantha will be turning 3 years old in less than three months' time, while Sophia will be a year-old in a little more than a month. With a new year just around the corner, it is almost time to look back and take stock of what has transpired the previous year, and what to do for the new year.

Honey, follow your heart. Whether you choose to go back to the corporate world, go back to learning a new skill or open your own food business - the kids and I will always be here to support you. Every one in our families will have their own opinion about how we choose to live our lives, but the important thing is that we are all together in the decisions that we make and that we support each other. This is what I promise to you. For as long we do this for our success and His; for as long as we pray to God for thanks and support in our future endeavors, what ever other people will say will not matter. We SHALL succeed.

A couple of quotable quotes to remember:

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." --> Harriet Tubman

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal." --> Pamela Vaul Starr

"All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible." --> T.E. Lawrence

I love you Honey. Reach for the skies, reach for the stars ... for I will be here to help lift you high!

Busy, Rainy, Family day

Amy and I have formed this habit of checking our emails, profiles and some news bits before hitting-the-hay. Tonight though, I decided to browse through www.sulit.com.ph to scope out cars that are for sale - both brand new and second hand. As I was browsing, I asked my wife if she thinks that if we had a good chance of buying a car next year, even if it were just a second hand car. She said that it would depend on the status of our finances - in other words, if we have eliminated most of our debts.

...wake-up call!!!

Between paying the monthly debts to our loan in Pag-ibig, monthly payments for our insurance policies, educational plans, loans/debts with banks and family members - there's hardly anything left for our basic needs ... but I'm proud to say that despite the financial set backs that we've been having, the four of us still manage to have fun and enjoy the simplest things in life.

A Halloween party at Samantha's school provided us another view of our daughter's imaginative and playful side among her teachers, classmates and other parents. And as expected, she was just as cheerful, funny and active as she can be. She may be hyper active, but at least she's a happy, healthy and uber sweet angel .... and she's MINE!!! ... well, until her mother says so

Attending a seminar at a hotel in Makati which culminated in an awarding ceremony where Amy was among the top 10 mothers as seen and judged by some local parenting and children's brands. She may not have won the top prize as we all had hoped, but at least she got the chance to meet other moms and make some new friends in the process. Plus, the Php 10k prize in GCs was boost in the ego (and the finances) as well

Treating the kids, as well as their yayas, out to lunch at a local pizza parlor proved to be a great bonding activity for the 6 of us. Pizza, pasta, chicken and taters ... how can you go wrong with that?!

Life may have been throwing us a lot of curve balls, but at least we do get to catch a break from time-to-time. Despite the absence and inability to own luxuries and convenience, at the end of the day, we look at what really matters the most and appreciate what we have. We may not see or realize it always, but from time-to-time we NEED TO REMEMBER that we are better off than most people... and for this, Amy and I thank HIM for the blessings that has been coming along our way, even if some times we tend to over look them. We thank HIM, always.

LIFE, LOVE, LORD ... the 3 Ls to fruitful living.

Return, Recharge, Re-educate

Yesterday had to be one of my stressful days for this month. Just when I thought I had everything planned out well, *Murphy comes creeping along the hallways of IBM. I had no choice but to re-schedule and re-think my strategy thus requiring me to adjust my work schedule a little bit more uncomfortably. Oh well, that's life, right? Not everything will go your way all the time.

While my mind was swimming in the Sea of Stress, my heart was was seeking ways to de-stress and one yearning came to mind: FOOD!!! (go figure!)

I Googled away on my laptop searching for culinary arts schools around the metro, hoping to find schools that offer short courses on culinary arts. I thought that it would be great for Amy and I to take these short courses both as a bonding activity and as an opportunity to further enhance our skills in the kitchen. We both love to cook and we certainly both love to eat, so this activity/mission/endeavor is perfect for us.

A good number of websites caught my attention. Check these out:

Center for Culinary Arts: www.cca-manila.com

Chef Logro's Institute of Culinary and Kitchen Arts: http://www.cheflogro.com/

Click's Culinary Learning Institute: http://www.clicksgma.com/

The Maya Kitchen: http://www.themayakitchen.com/index.php

I've sent emails to a few inquiring about their short courses and tuition fees. We'll see how it goes. I'm keen on taking some classes with my wife. Perhaps later this year or will be part of our new year's resolution for 2011 ;-)

* Murphy's Law - when you think something will go wrong, it will most certainly will happen.

Follow your strengths

This much I now know - if you're in the corporate world such as myself, and you decide to branch out to a totally new role, one that is completely different from what you've been doing for the past years, make sure that the new role that you'll be taking is something that you know you'll enjoy doing. In my case, I should have become a cook, radio DJ or a TV host! Yup, I love to eat, cook and talk.

After eight years of being an IT professional, I've decided to take on a role that is not really unrelated to what I've been doing in IT. It is still project management but the scope of work is bigger - one that encompasses IT since it also tackles HR, recruitment, business controls, etc. Project management is project management, as what my boss says but being a Transition Project Manager is still different, although the role itself is not new to me.

In any case, I gave it a shot. I found my bearing but the biggest challenge for me was navigating internally to find the right team and the right person(s) to work with on my project. The policies and procedures are things that I had to learn on-the-go, but thanks to the generous timelines of the project, I had enough time to learn the ropes. I had a lot of stumbles here and there, but I got up and learned from them. As of this writing, I'm confident to say that if I choose to work on another Transition project, I will definitely make less mistakes and be more efficient at my work. Unfortunately, this is not where my heart is as far as the role is concerned.

I've been so used to working in IT that I suddenly missed it. I remember that whenever I embarked in a new role in IT, I was always expected to hit the ground running and expectations on my performance was high. Fortunately, I would always meet their expectations, if not exceed them. I would always shine in my role in IT. But for the first time in my life, with this new role in IBM, I found myself constantly in the spot light, but not in a good way. Again, expectations of me were high, but I couldn't help but miss some details from time-to-time. I admit that some mistakes could have been avoided but I was still getting used to the role and learning the methodologies as I went along with the project. I never had any orientation or the sort. But alas, enough has already been said and done. I'm proud to say that the project that I've been working for the past 10-months is ready to go-live at any time the client wishes. I was able to place the project 98% ready by the time the soft-go live came last October 1. We became 100% ready the next day.

Now the days are counting down for me once again. My last days with IBM Business Services are numbered and by November 16 I bid my new found friends adieu. By November 17, I once again join the IT world with IBM Daksh and I will once again report to my previous boss and good friend (from AIG Business Processing Services), Ray Austria. This is going to be another interesting chapter in my journey in my professional life, where I will be occupying the role as IT Delivery Project Executive (don't let the name fool you, my transfer is just lateral - no promotions here ... at least not yet). The role will be a mix of IT Account Management, Project Management and Operations - familiar territory for me as these were the same roles I fulfilled when I was working at Accenture.

Looking forward to shining once again.

Butterfly kisses

As I was making my way to work today, I was listening to the radio through my phone when I came across this familiar song. I've heard this dozens of times before, but this is the first time that I've actually listened to what the singer, Bob Carlisle, is trying to say.

Samantha and Sophia are my two most treasured blessings in the world. I never thought that the Lord would grant me two such intelligent, strong and beautiful little angels - two of his best! Nothing gives me more joy than seeing my daughters look up at me and flash me those beautiful smiles.

I currently going through a crossroad in my life. I feel like the weight of the whole world is on my shoulders - heavy debts with some banks, heavy financial obligations and a job where no matter my sincerest efforts result in nothing but escalations, baseless complaints and a rash judgments.

Yes after all the chaos that seems to happen to me day after day for the past few weeks, there are two constants in my life that keep my sane: my supportive and understanding wife AND my two loving daughters.

I know that I haven't been the best dad to them - God knows that I've been terrible at fatherhood. But after all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right to deserve a smile, a kiss every morning from my two daughters. Despite my short comings, I still get to hear the sweetest "I love yous" from Samantha, and giggles from Sophia.

I love you girls. Daddy is doing his best to provide you with all that you deserve and need; with a life that you deserve. Daddy always prays for you that he be able to give you all opportunities that you deserve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDwtD1dknRQ

Butterfly Kisses lyrics
Songwriters: Carlisle, Bob; Thomas, Randy;

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven
And she's daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh but most of all

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk beside the pony daddy it's my first ride
I know the cake looks funny daddy but I sure tried

Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every mornin'
And butterfly kisses at night

Sweet 16 today
She's lookin' like her mama a little more every day
One part woman the other part girl
To perfume and make up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
You know how much I love you daddy
But if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the check this time

Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every mornin'
And butterfly kisses at night

All the precious time
Like the wind the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today
She'll make a promise and I'll give her aways
Standing in the bride room just staring at her
She asked me what I'm thinkin'
And I said I'm not sure
I just feel like I'm loosin' my baby girl
And she leaned over

Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk me down the isle daddy
It's just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?
Daddy's don't cry

Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every mornin'
And butterfly kisses

I couldn't ask God for more than this is what love is
I know I've got to let her go but I'll always remember
Every hug in the mornin' and butterfly kisses